Lest we forget

Anzac Day always moves me to think what everyone who was involved went thru. Whether fighting overseas, whether having a son, daughter, father, mother or loved one fighting, and all those young lives lost. I don't think we can ever truely understnad what it was like, what they saw, l am sure they would want no-one to experience what they did. But we can be thankful for what they did and all for us.

I would love to take the kids to an Anzac day service when they are a little older so they can experience it all. I would love to go to Gallipoli and experience the very moving Dawn Service and be where the battle took place.

I just hope Anzac day hold a special place in Australians hearts when my children are all grown up. There are not many Anzacs alive today and l hope when they are in their final resting place that we will still remember them and they will hold a special place in our nation.

Today is a special day, not one for celebrating but one for reflecting and remembering all those brave souls and what they did for us.

ANZACS

Happy Easter Everyone.

Just wanted to wish you all a very Happy and Safe Easter.

Few steps forward, one step back

Mr N left today for a 3 day hike and already l am stressing. It all started Wed after the kids had their swine flu/flu vax's. By 6pm that evening Master N was like a drunk and so tired he could not walk straight nor even stay awake. And for him that is very unusual. Put it down to a side effect of the vax. So off to bed where he slept for an hour.

So after a few steps forward (few good weeks not stressing or suffering from anxiety), l am now one step back. And it had to be the weekend Mr N is not around.

What set it off?

I think it may have been walking in to pick the kids up on Thursday from the ELC and being welcomed by an unpleasent odour. Wasn't till one of the teachers appoligised saying one child had just thrown up ( and l think she meant literally). Something l just didn't need to know at all.

So since then l have been stressing and thinking -ve. Not as bad as l was a few weeks ago and l do not want to go back there. Ever.

I hate Satan and his evil plans. But Praise God, that l am a child of God and that l know God is bigger then anything and loves me and is always with me helping thru dark and struggling times. I know all that but l need to put it into practice and fight Satan with the armour of God, and with praise and worship, and even speaking the Word out aloud.

I was looking forward to this weekend on my own with the kids, but now it doesn't seem to be an end to it. I just want to flee, where to l am not sure but at the moment away from the kids... it has been a struggle today. I just want to cry, or scream out and l don't feel l am in control of these thoughts or worries... I hate feeling like this and how silly is it to feel like this even when it is not necessary.

Doesn't help that l have no voice and l can't even talk to the kids, or that they both have coughs so everytime they cough l stress.... I can't think like this when all l think l wish they were not here so l didn't have to stress. I am sure them not being here would not let me stress any less.

I keep thinking that they could catch the illness the child had on Thursday and will be sick either Saturday or even Sunday. I can't get it out of my head.

But l know what battle l am facing and l know who l am fighting against and the best of all l know who is on my side helping me fight this battle.... God. All i need to do is give ALL to him and not try and fight this all on my own.

But anyhow that is where l am now. Sorry if it makes no sense... it doesn't make much sense to me either.

Today's Adventure

Well after yesterdays adventures, 2 dr trips but no, no-one was ill but the first trip the kids were off to get their swine flu/flu vax's and then l decided it would be a good idea for me to get the flu shot as well. So went back in the afternoon when they had a flu clinic. They now combine the swine flu and flu vax together.

Kids were very brave and didn't even cry and got a jelly bean and a glove for them to blow up and have as a balloon. They thought the glove idea was very funny. By later afternoon they had some side effects from the vax's. Master N was like a drunk, and could not walk straight and could not even keep his eyes open. He was so tired, so off to bed he went and was soon awake an hour later and feeling better.

Miss T was fine and had her silly hour and then yep fell asleep in the middle of her dinner. Mr N said she stated " Daddy l love cheese" and he answered her, he saw she was fast asleep.

Happy to report both are fine today and still up and running around and giggling now even tho it is past their bedtime.

Anyhow was supposed to be talking about today's adventures. I am a little sore today from the flu vax (well my arm is) and some mild flu symptoms but l still headed out on a mission to find Master N a birthday gift. He is not turning 5 till May but l am Miss Organised and also we are getting our puppy (SQUEAL ... no not the name of the dog but l am squealing as l am so excited about getting her).

Yes we are getting the puppy in a few weeks so we have to be organised with everything else first.

I think one of the biggest challenges is walking into a toy shop and trying to find a almost 5 year old a present. They want everything, but they are at that age where everything is not suitable for them. He is into spiderman and Transformers but no idea why as he has never seen them on tv or anything, but l suppose every young boy goes thru the "superhero" stage in their life.

So after wandering around i ended up getting the "Guess Who" game and "connect Four" game. I have seen him playing them at the ELC. Then saw the perfect "Transformer" hoodie in a shop that l knew he would love. So l am part way there in his gifts.

He is at the stage of loving to colour in and got a HUGE colouring in book, which is also a search and find so l know that will def be a hit. Next was thinking some special pencils (like derwents) for him as he is a BIG boy now. I still have my derwent set from when l was a kid. All 36 pencils or however how many is in there.

Winter pj's were also on sale so the kids got a few new pairs. I have a thing for pj's and love mine. I think they should make pj's a daily fashion. I would wear them all day, they are just so comfortable.

Sigh think l may even go and jump into my pj's now.

time has passed

Been quite some time since my last post. Life has been busy for me here and when l have had time l have had a "blog block" and just not been able to write, let along think what to write. I was worried l had lost my knack for writing (not that it is ever exciting but great for me), and even for my photography. I have lost my knack for that too lately. I am sure l will find it, it has to be hidden away somehwere, maybe hidden amongst all that washing l have to iron.

But my latest challenges l believe l am free from. Praise God. Some of you may know we had the church camp on over Labor day weekend and Mr N had been the orgainser for it. We got down there a few days earlier then everyone else to enjoy some family time down there.

Well the day before everyone got down there l was challeneged, Mr N woke feeling tired and achey but otherwise good. He still played with the kids and we spent the afternoon down by the beach. Not sure if he had too much sun or what but he came back with a headache, and went to lie down. I ended up taking the kids away from the tent so he could rest and took them for a walk.

Later met him and he told me he had been ill, so went to the dr, and he waited there as they were to get the ambulance to come down to get him as he could not keep anything down and we did not want that camping in a National Park. I took the kids back and started to stress about how l was to cope on my own and hoping no one else got (ie the kids).

I had the kids in the shower and Mr N had come back to our site, they had checked him over and said he was ok and they would not admit him to the hosptial (which was a 45min drive away thru the mountains), so to just fight it out overnight.

So he had planned so sleep in the car, couldn't have him up and down in the tent all night. But soon he was throwing up even more and it was worse as he could not keep anything down, he was hot and cold, and just so lucid. So he called the ambulance again and they ended up taking him away at 11:30pm and he spent the night in the hosptial. Was a blessing he was on a drip.

I was stressing and feeling ill myself but had called the pastor of our church (who was coming down the next day) and he prayed for me and l felt an lift from the burdens right there and then. Since that time l have not really stressed over the kids or Mr N about being ill.

The power of prayer does work.

I ended up picking up Mr N that next morning and he had fully recovered by that late afternoon/early evening when everyone else had made their way down to join us.

So God is good and does answer prayers.

Joy.

Life has been great since l last wrote. Yesterday was a great day, and yes l thought about my fears but they did not worry me one bit. It was more like why would l need to worry about things like that. There is more to life then worrying.

As l have said in previous posts l have been reading Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind" and it is a brillant read.I am up to Chapter 12, which is about An anxious and Worried Mind. Very appropiate for me at this time of my life. Phil 4:6 keeps coming to me where-ever l am and is a well known verse but one l need to put into practice. Maybe that is why l keep reading it or hearing it.

Doesn't God has a funny sense of humour. Its like they say that you need to hear things (when learning) 7 times before it is remembered. So l need to hear the same bible reading or message before l remember it or take it in. I read a verse and it will stand out to me and l will hear it a few times that week. Must be something of importance that God wants me to hear, so l take more note.

I also have been doing a little daily devoation that was sent out from Light Fm radio station and has a little reading each day with a bible verse. Each week has a topic and this week's is temptation. I have to say each week has been on a topic that l have just needed to hear in that time of my life.

I have had "Get up with God" which was about being joyful, trusting in God and yes Phil 4:6 did come into one day of it. Then we had "Why is God so trustworthy", "rewards of waiting on God", "spiritual battle" (very good for me at the moment) and l am now doing "temptation" (also another good one).

I really enjoyed reading about temptation and how it can take us away from God's Word, and it can become very additctive in our lives the more we are tempted.

Then reading Battlefield of the mind, has been good too and uplifting. Its amazing how when you spend time in the Word the more joy you have and the more you feel like you can face any battle that may come into your path.

So life is looking up and God is good.

de-cluttering

Well its come to that time in my life that l need to de-clutter. Mostly in my life there are a lot of changes l need to make. I can't just expect God to do it all if l don't put any effort in trying myself.

I am now spending more time with him by reading the word and thru music (as l said in my last post) and l can see that is helping with the negatives in my life. But l also have been challenged to give some things up or set a limit on them.

So first l de-cluttered facebook and got rid of some people on there. Some who are never on there or whom we don't even communicate on there, and sorry to say some who are very negative in life. It's just not helping my life and my struggles.

I was doing really well the other day with my anxiety until l got onto facebook and saw a few people who have gastro/virus and there went my postive thoughts as soon as l saw it. So l hid their posts. Horrible it sounds but it the little things like that that are setting me off and then l just go downhill. I am sure those who have been there can understand what l am saying.

I am also trying to limit my time on the net and doing more with the kids and family. Yesterday afternoon we spent some time down on the Yarra River feeding the ducks and then playing in the park, then went to meet Mr N at the library and came home. Poor Miss T was worn out but we all had a ball and it meant my mind being busy on enjoying time with my children.

And now the kids are at kindy l am making the most of it and de-cluttering the house (well their rooms) have spent all morning in there. But looks great.

Now lunch is calling me.